Author Connie Suttle

Author Connie Suttle:
Urban Fantasy/ Young Adult

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Bibles, Law Dictionaries and Wrong Numbers


When I worked for Borders (I left the company in 2007), we used to get faxes all the time from questionable sources, asking us to please sell them XX numbers of Law Dictionaries or Bibles. The reason I used two X's is because they always asked for double-digit quantities. They always offered to pay using a credit card number, and listed an address in another country as the shipping address.
Scam? Obviously. I even had one call me on the phone (I got the call because I was the manager on duty). I gave my apologies and said that we didn't ship outside the country. Really, scammers, why would anybody take you seriously when you are calling a store in OKLAHOMA for all your U.S. Law Dictionary needs?  From outside the country, no less!
Today, I got a text on my cell, assuring me that I'd won a gift card from a popular electronics store. My entry was selected, it said, and all I had to do was log onto their website and enter a code supplied in the text. REALLY? I DIDN'T ENTER ANYTHING. I seldom do. I'm not the winning kind of person, generally.
That brings me to wrong numbers. Curiously enough, my cell number is one digit away from the local Attorney General's phone number. I get calls frequently that are meant for the AG's office, usually from another cell phone, because it's easy to substitute one number for the other. A couple of times, the caller ends up telling me their story, even after I've explained that (A) I'm not the Attorney General, and (B) I'm not qualified to help them with anything, unless they want a recommendation for my favorite tea (It's Earl Grey, usually decaf).
One caller told me about a scam that she'd inadvertently participated in, and was now seeking legal recourse. I told her the AG's number. She kept talking. I sat down to listen (it was a long story) and she ended up saying that she was buying a gun in case these people (the scammers) came to her door. (Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!) I did my best to convince her to call the police AND the AG's office after that. I think I even looked up the police department's non-emergency number for her in the phone book, and really hoped that I didn't see a homicide on the evening news after she hung up.
That was a couple of years ago. If there was a homicide, it didn't make the news. I will say this, though. I've already considered this as a potential plot/subplot for a book. As for the message in this blog post, well, there's not much of one. All I can say is that if you text me, call me, email me or send me printed material involving a scam, or text me, call me, email me or send me printed material involving your (possible) intention to shoot, stab, hang, torture or otherwise do away with a scammer, bear in mind all of that may end up in a book.
With the following disclaimer, of course:
"All rights reserved. Void where prohibited. Only one offer per customer. For external use only. May contain nuts or nut products. Not meant to be used as a flotation device. If erection lasts more than four hours, for Pete's sake don't freak. Walk (if you can) to the nearest phone and call your physician. Outside Physician's business hours, please visit your local emergency room. After they stop laughing, you'll probably get treatment. If the problem still persists, well, fly proud.

In other news, Demon Lost may see an early release. That is all :D

5 comments:

  1. Can not help myself, just have to comment on the last paragraph. Have always gotten a hugh laugh at the instructions to call a Doctor if an erection last over four hours!!! Can you imagion going to the ER with this problem?? So sorry if this offends any male readers of your blog, I just can not help it and have to laugh.

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  2. Thanks for the laugh ... I needed that =).

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    1. You're welcome. Hope your day is a happy one--
      cs

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  3. Ok, I am with Pony and Larry. I had a good laugh about all the combined disclaimers! I had to send the link to my husband so he could also have a laugh. Wow, one off from the AG number? All the stories those calls must inspire. The biggest part I caught though is the possible early release of Demon LosT. YIPEE! Yes please!

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